Thursday, February 16, 2017

AMERICAN HATE CRIMES



A continuing and possibly unending series:


Americans who tolerate spending more than 600 billion dollars on war and 60 billion dollars on pets while half a million people are homeless have been found guilty of Hate Crimes by an international committee of better educated, higher income, morally superior and much smarter global residents.

The national committee for IISS – Intellectuality In Social Sewers - has found all Americans who allow the incredibly large inequality gap between the richest fraction of one percent of the population and the other 99+ percent guilty of really, really, really stupid Hate Crimes.

Americans who know that President Trump is a misogynist and have done nothing to rescue his poor wife and daughters from their dreadful lives of terroristic brutality have been found guilty of sexist Hate Crimes committed against all women too dumb to know they are married to and fathered by misogynists.

American entrepreneurs who have not profited from the Hate Trump movement by producing hats, bumper stickers, placards, t-shirts, buttons and especially earned interest through commercial fund raising for non-profit NGOs in opposition to his invention of capitalism, war, slavery, famine, tooth decay and ingrown toenails have been found guilty of anti-marketing Hate Crimes by the Better Business Bureau of Albania

American individuals and businesses which have not hired an immigrant worker at lower wages than they would have had to pay a native born worker have been charged with Racist Hate Crimes, a more serious offense than simple Hate Crimes since Caesar Chavez became the original criminal so identified when he not only criticized immigrant workers whose cheaper labor threatened his native born union members but referred to them as “wetbacks”.

All American residents of homeless encampments/tent cities have been charged with Hate Crimes for not having toilet facilities for all non-gender-specific homeless people to use - and no excuses accepted about nobody else having such facilities - by the committee on creating gender choice equality even before housing, jobs and education because let’s face it, what good are housing, jobs or an education if you can’t use the toilet of your choice?


America accused of Hate Crimes against Palestinians, Iraqis, Libyans, Yemenis, Syrians, Muslims, the Islamic world and the thinking people minority of the west, by committee to create global toilets to be shared by all faiths. Committee calls for investigation and urges charges of treason, impeachment, and denial of toilet use for all guilty American politicians and their flunkies, considering the high place in their consciousness of facilities for excrement and urine release which only recently became socially significant gathering places.



Guilt ridden professional upper middle class “white” Americans charged with Racist Hate Crimes for labeling those with less as enjoying “white privilege” despite no evidence that there is a “white” race any different from the human race and in complete denial of political economic privileges enjoyed by all   “ people of color* ” with money.

*Except for Albinos who may have money but have no color.




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Friday, February 10, 2017

Bulletins From The Garlic: Fake but More Real than Major Media

The Homeless, poor and those without health care are organizing to leave the USA and return by sneaking across the border in hopes that immigration supporters and other humanitarians will lavish attention and care on them. “We may need a false flag attack, like bombing a tent city and killing some of us to better assure that we‘ll be treated like the Muslims we murder whose next of kin are welcomed with open arms by their murderers” said a spokesperson who refused to identify himself in fear that he might not be allowed back into the country of his birth if it was known that he was a gender specific person who hadn’t eaten in 24 hours or bathed in 24 days. “Maybe if we can return this way we’ll be treated better, maybe not as well as dogs or cats but at least with a chance to get what social services remain, the way immigrants can.”


Those living individual lifestyles without social content threaten March on Washington after Costco ran out of bagels. “This is an outrage which has happened before and we will not tolerate it again,” said chairperson P.P. Dickie of the Committee To Serve Spoiled Brats The Way Their Screwed Up Parents Did. “It’s time for personal lifestyles which demand bagels when we need them to stand up and be counted. We may march on Washington!”

Stocks soar and bonds boom as American marketplace enjoys meteoric rise from moral cesspool to moral toilet. “We’ve not seen anything this big since Cancer pharmaceuticals crossed the billion dollar mark in 2015” said Goldman-Citi-Venture-Capital ethicist Diego von Lipshitz. “It looks like the best bear market until the next bull market until the next bear market until the next bull…” At this point the Legalienate transmission broke down due to our technicians projectile vomiting. Legalienate, even in its lower budget Garlic division, does not use robots and only hires human nationals, paid union wages, which we borrow from public banks.

New Washington Think-Fink tank invites contributions and suggestions from possessors of ideas on how to enable corporadoes to make even more money, pay even less taxes and even lower wages and raise profits even higher without anyone noticing. Ideas must be submitted by college educated upper middle class people of all races, creeds, sexual preferences and belief systems acknowledging that something with a penis created the universe and who can prove that they have not yet been convicted of a felony.
No submissions from white uneducated working class people, please.

Trump accused of anti-semitism for putting America first, before Israel. Trump apologizes, gives Netanyahu backrub and leads parade of Israelis into Jerusalem with Palestinians carrying their bags and weapons.

Experts on Trump’s psychological problems very experienced as to psycho-chronic conditions common to people with intense focus on self , having been born during their mothers’ therapy sessions and starting their own treatments shortly after bottle feeding. Their mothers did not have breasts. Some speculate that their fathers did not have reproductive organs either.
“He’s clearly suffering from severe retroactive matrilineal sexual depilatory tenaciousness which is obvious in the way he grabs microphones, combs his hairpiece, waves arms when he speaks and makes lots of noise in the toilet, as many observers who hang out in his toilet have told us. He’s a very very sick man and we’re all in danger if he ever becomes president, which luckily is impossible” said Dr Phil Empty, star of the network-cable-nutwork TV show “You are a Friggin Nut until I say you’re cured, which will take many visits at $400 an hour”.

Cesar Chavez posthumously indicted for racist anti-immigration stance in his bigoted defense of his union workers against humanitarian agribusiness’s  heart-warming desire to import cheaper labor from across the border. “Those companies were just trying to help poor foreign workers to plan for better futures and dream of college. Profits had nothing to do with it and I hate to say it but Chavez was a traitor to the cause of future careerists in the government and NGO market”, said spokesperson Pato Batista of Latinos In A Rage.

Corporate and Silicon Valley support for immigration is all about humanitarianism and has nothing to do with what humanity gets paid for labor. They do not import foreign help because it’s cheaper and far more profitable but only because they love hearing workers speaking Spanish, Chinese, Swahili, and Arabic and enjoy eating foreign junk foods in their café health malls.


America’s Classical Economic Institute study finds rape a cost effective form of dating. High unemployment, low savings and high debts make dinner and a movie out of reach for some formerly affluent workers.

“Even dining at Denny’s and taking in a movie at the Octoplex can run to more than $50” said Dr. Milton Testa de Mingia,  director of the Institute and Nobel Prize winner for his explanation that lack of personal budgeting skills are behind the problem of homelessness in America. “A little rough sex can still leave room for one or the other before or after, but both dinner and a movie can be very expensive.”

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Only Thing Dumber Than Trump? The Reaction To Trump




“Capitalism develops the social process of production by simultaneously undermining the original source of all wealth: the soil and the worker”
Karl Marx

The attack on mass consciousness by America’s ruling powers that began with a campaign to assure Trump’s candidacy so that their wholly owned subsidiary could win failed miserably but continues at greater excess and with dangerously traumatic success since his victory. Every ignorant, undiplomatic or semi-stupid action or utterance by the new CEO of corporate america is met by imbecilic, bigoted and near moronic reaction from capital’s billionaire central through its professional upper class political/media servants. While conservative America has long been accused, often justifiably, of waving the banner of reactionary politics and narrow thinking, a failing economic system is helping reduce liberals and progressives to those who are simply not members of the American Nazi Party. Yet.

It has reached a point at which if Trump were to pass wind in public the NY Times  - followed by the rest of american media - would charge him with conducting a gas attack on America’s children, pets, immigrants, gays, women, epileptics, dyspeptics, people of color, people of no color, jews, agnostics, republicans, democrats, and other alleged minorities depending on which fake-media outlet was carrying its owner’s message.

After a shocking Trump victory, assured by our ruler’s destruction of the candidacy of Bernie Sanders, the reaction has been to whip large segments of the public into a frenzy of often well meant if tending toward lynch mob behavior that focuses on one or another appointment of a business-as-usual figure to the corporate board while remaining nearly comatose to the ever more deadly dangerous commercial endeavors of the firm.

Global capitalism has been ruining earth and destroying humanity at an even faster rate than the national form of the past, and Trump, a nationalist economic numbskull as opposed to the global numbskulls recently in charge, could even mean buying some time by continuing to damage the essence of life mentioned in the opening quote, but perhaps at a slightly slower rate. And maybe without a nuclear war.

The old conservative anti-Soviet anti-communist madness of the past is being replaced by a liberal-progressive anti-Russia of the present with alleged intellectuals herded like cattle into a two legged stampede of idiocy about our democratic process having been sullied by Russian theft, said process being a product of minority wealth since it came into being and having no more to do with democracy, on a national level, than an alleged free market where there is no such thing as a free lunch has to do with freedom. If you haven’t enough money for housing you can live in the street, as half a million Americans do, and if you can’t buy political power you can remain politically powerless, as 95% of Americans remain. This despite what we’re told by our owners about our supposedly cherished and sacred freedom, which is like masters telling slaves they own the plantation. When the slaves believe it and start arguing about which of them have better positions in the house or the field, the master, slavery and capitalism is strengthened. But all of us and not just the convinced suffer. That’s where America and the world are concerning the political economics which rule and have ruled since long before Trump, creating situations of dire crisis for billons of people and the earth itself. And the marketing of new brand names and new product lines like “climate change” or “immigration rights” do nothing but perpetuate the overall systemic crisis by isolating and mis-identifying many of its problems in order to make a solution more difficult to achieve.

The possibly largest contradiction in profit and loss marketing under the control of capitalist billionaires is mentioned in that opening quote and desperately needs the attention of those justifiably concerned about environmental destruction, appalling poverty and endless wars over control of capital. Which is why we are to be kept mindful of which individual hero or villain sits in the CEO chair following the dictates of minority banking, and treated as a mindless minority concentrating on one or another identity group that separates us from the only identity group that really matters; humanity, which is only divided by skin tone, religion, sexuality or nation for the purpose of keeping it/us from identifying as ourselves, and demanding and enacting democracy in material deed rather than meaningless word.

In the american political economy that spends more than 600 billion on war, more than 60 billion on pets, reduces millions to poverty and hundreds of thousands to being homeless, to mention only a handful of the staggering contradictions that were and are our reality whichever clown prince sits at the surreality seat in DC, we need to become conscious, active and truly resistant to it and not simply individual or group personalities. Millions have been murdered in the Middle East by that system and now its unconscious supporters are maneuvered into standing up for the rights of immigrants we have forced out of their countries by our murderous practices. It would be like a Polish Jew trying to escape the nazi onslaught by trying to emigrate to Germany, with decent if terribly uninformed German citizens crying out “we must help them”.

We need not attend graduate school to understand the dreadful idiocy of conducting economic affairs in adherence to practices that reward fewer and fewer people, at greater cost and poverty to more people and the earth that sustains us all. Unless we change that in resistance to problems that threaten humanity, any resistance offered one or another villain, manufactured by mind managers or real, will amount to nothing.

Merely consider what any of us marketplace survivors deal with every day but try thinking about it in substance instead of just reacting as we are socially managed to react. How can a gallon of milk be more expensive than a gallon of gasoline? What does it take to create the milk in the cow and how much labor is involved in milking a cow? Anyone can understand that gasoline comes from petroleum, which is not as accessible as milk. After you milk a cow, the next day it will have more milk. But you don’t just squeeze earth’s teats to get petroleum and when you take it from the earth it won’t reproduce for millennia. And the process of changing it into gasoline is massive and costly, even before the pollution it creates. So why is milk more expensive? Market forces of supply and demand? Of course, especially if you believe the slaves own the plantation. And why are organics only available to people with more money? Why is it more expensive to buy fruits and vegetables that are simply planted and nurtured by nature, rather than jacked up with expensive chemicals, fertilizers and other petroleum by-products? Market forces of supply and demand? And how do we meet the demand for weapons and satisfy our demand for pets while leaving so many humans with so little “market force” that they lead lives of abject misery? These and countless other contradictions cannot simply be reduced to heroes and villains and must be seen as the workings of a system that can only benefit a few at cost to very very many. Billions of humans on a global level, but millions just here in the USA. That is a much bigger problem for us to deal with than the identity, personality, skin tone, religion, or sexuality of one or another individual or member of a group. And all of us, once we deal with the political economics that rule our lives, will benefit, not just some of us. In other words, stop worrying only about Trump and start worrying – big time – about capitalism.