Genocide in Libya, um, no Iran, er, no Syria!

Genocide in Libya, um, no Iran, er, no Syria!

Armed insurrection in Syria has met with government violence against the insurrectionists, in contrast to western civilization and its servant international community where insurrectionists are always invited to lunch to discuss their problems with authority, provided they do not kill  the diplomats who agree to talk to them.

After charges of mass rape were made by Syrians who miraculously escaped being raped by hiding behind cell phones, charges of genocide have come from others who avoided being genocided by miraculously hiding behind kindles.

U.S. feminists at the State Department expressed foaming at the mouth outrage at the bloodletting and sex crimes and genocide, with the Secretary herself calling for nuclear attacks on all Iranians, um, Syrians, if they do not stop threatening Israel, um, the U.S.

Santorum Wins in Pennsiltuckazona: Romney Buys More Pomade

The leading haircut in the Republican primary suffered defeat as a guy who gets his hair cut at barber school won caucuses, prayer meetings and pot lucks in several communities on the outskirts of media central.

Santorum has electrified voters with his radical views, such as referring to wars, earthquakes and tsunamis as job creators.

“Somebody has to do the killing and cleaning up the  mess and rebuilding, my friends, and if you love this great country as much as I do, which is more than the other guys do, you have to agree with me.”

Romney responded in outrage that “nobody loves this great country more than I do” but his voice could barely be heard when Gingrich screamed at the top of his lungs “I love this great country more than anyone in the universe and they don’t know what love is.”

Several supporters of all the candidates were overcome with emotion at the display of love for this great country. “Who cares about the economy, foreign policy, taxes, corporate wealth or the 1%? All we need is love.”