Bulletin: Malcolm X Rises From The Dead, Blasts Obama

Denounces Conversion of White House To "Uncle Tom's Cabin"

Michael K. Smith
Legalienation News Bureau

Harlem.

Legendary black nationalist Malcolm X rose from the dead today, and immediately launched a fiery attack on Barack Obama, saying that the U.S. president made previous generations of "Uncle Toms" look like "the Mau Mau."

"I believe I told you all what to expect from 'civil rights,'" he said with visible satisfaction, "and now we see Tom has moved his cabin into the White House, where the Great Half-White Hope tries to prop up a crumbling empire sucking the blood of those he promised to liberate.  I guess we could call it, 'the audacity of a dope.'"

Challenged to defend his thesis that undiluted racism persists in the 21st century, where several Asian giants have broken into the "white man's club" of developed nations, and white Europeans have faced the wrath of a U.S. bombing campaign (Yugoslavia, 1999 ed.), the famed revolutionary leader responded with withering contempt:  "I told you all that white is a state of mind, not just a skin color. . . . . Yes, the Japanese were designated 'honorary whites' by the South African apartheid regime," he conceded, "and we might say the Serbs were reduced to 'honorary niggers' to stamp out their socialist heresies, but affirmative action in the KKK is not liberation."

He was equally scathing about Obama's supposed "rescue" of the economy, which he described as a "looting operation disguised as a prosperity scheme."  "When the big banks had robbed the economy to the point of collapse, Obama rushed back to Washington to endorse their bailout plan.  Like that Tom of old, he asked,  'What's the matter, boss, we sick?'  You've got to understand the mentality here.  We sick?!  As though plundering U.S. banks belonged to black people!"

He said the Bush-Obama "war on terror" was an example of "hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing."   He added that his pilgrimage to Mecca in 1964 had shown him an interracial solidarity among Muslims that had never come close to being duplicated in the USA, before or since:  "I told you all before I left that Islam was a religion of peace. Now the White House Negro has you believing that you need violent regime-change everywhere in the Muslim world, but not in Washington D. C., which even Dr. King conceded was 'the greatest purveyor of violence in the world.'  That certainly hasn't changed."