New App Protects Hate Speech, Bullying, Death Threats
Eleven year old trillionaire web wizard announces
revolutionary
free speech tool, “App Yours”, enabling anonymous mayhem to
make PC Police crazy.
“Teenagers will be free to bully at will, charging other
teens with being ugly, having the worst breath and smelling like stale ashtrays
filled with burger juice” said the genius. “Celebrities, political figures and
their families can be issued death threats, all minorities can be trashed and
there is no chance of prosecution since “App Yours” (pat.pending) is totally
anonymous, paid for with bit coins registered on another planetary system.”
Orders for “App Yours” are being taken at an anonymous
online source which had received thirty million requests before this site was
the first to reveal its existence.
Supreme Court Does Extensive Cost-Benefit Analysis
Historic Free Market-Private Profit Rulings Find Same Sex
Marriage and Fossil Fuel Legal Since Benefits Exceed Costs
Court also rules in favor of capital punishment, meaning
that same sex married couples who are invested in fossil fuel stocks and commit
murder can be executed. Equal Rights communities rejoice, then collectively
vomit.
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