Bulletin From Fake News, Fake Democracy , Fake Sanity and Real Surreality

Evidence of Assad’s responsibility for chemical attack overwhelmingly as foolproof and convincing as:

Evidence of Virgin Birth of Son of God

Evidence of Specially Chosen People of God

Evidence of Sani-Flush as Satanic Creation

and

Evidence of Easter Bunny as Main Source of Global Cholesterol.

President Pinhead so emotionally moved by loss of innocent life he promises to suspend activities to get even with Democratic imbeciles and morons to concentrate on saving more innocent lives by killing more innocent people and possibly starting a nuclear war.

Democratic imbeciles and morons relieved, since that’s been their policy since long before president pinhead had his hit show on tv, let alone backed his limo into the white house.

Americans advised to continue watching cable, nutflix, huha and nosebook while feverishly shopping for stuff they don’t need and leave foreign policy to experts.

In other words:

Stay Tuned Out.

At everyone’s risk.