New and Improved Bill of Rights Adopted by Corporate Diversity Unlimited

1. Congress Shall Make No Law Abridging Freedom of Speech, Unless Said Speech is Offensive.

2. Freedom of Assembly is Guaranteed To All, Unless You Are Carrying A Tiki Torch, In Which Case You Shall Be Freely Assaulted By Justice Loving Mobs

3. All Citizens Shall Have the Right to Petition the Government for a Redress of Grievances, Unless They're The Wrong Grievances . . .