Latest report from ATM - American Toilet Media - proves
conclusively that Trump is homophobic.
Interviews with dozens of hookers, porn stars and other
hustlers show he has never had sex with a man!
Meanwhile, euro leaders who have never had sex with anyone
“came together” to excommunicate Russian diplomatic corps workers in
retaliation for mass murder, well, attempted murder of two people with no
evidence offered yet as to why, that must have been influenced by Putin because
the alleged attempted murder weapon was an exotic poison allegedly created by
Russians so that they could allegedly use it to kill two Russian expatriates
for no apparent or offered reason who’d been living in England for many years
but whose murder suddenly became critically important because Euro-American
leaders who have never had sex united with outraged bisexuals, trisexuals,
unisexuals, quadrisexuals, monosexuals and homosexuals who also never had sex
to put a stop to Trump’s sex life but especially to stop Russian attempts to
meddle, hack, infiltrate, dehydrate, infect ,facebook, instagram, lie, steal,
cheat and do other things to cause the global capitalist system to continue
decomposing even while Russia and China gain power from its anti-social
practices of profiting privates at public loss.
Go that? And if such idiocy wasn’t enough:
The feeding frenzy at the Russiagate food mart seems to get
worse by the second, speeding up from the previous minute by minute reports of
Russian meddling with our democracy and our fast food businesses to screech
about new taco-pizza-burger poisoning that may cause a generation of Americans
to become almost as dumb as their political media overlords.
Who can recall the crippling shock of learning (?) that
Russian hustlers had spent 100,000 dollars on Facebook ads to reshape our
cherished democracy from its near complete ownership by the rich to complete
ownership by the rich? Most shocking of all, in an election that saw nearly
seven billion dollars spent on convincing Americans – unsuccessfully – to rush
to the polls and select either a rich candidate with a penis or an owned by the
rich candidate with a vagina. That stunning, shocking, frightening figure spent
by the evil Russian internet hustlers amounted to less than two ten thousandths
of one percent of the total democracy bankroll !!!!!
And some of the evil russkies spent their funds to probe the
unconscious American mindset before the election campaign began !!!!!!!!!
More recently, and with the British clown princess and her
footmen taking the lead, Russia was accused of that previously mentioned poisoning
the ex-spy-turncoat and his daughter, using a semi-top-secret deadly agent
known only to Russians and for nefarious purposes such as, taking the British
public’s minds off the sorry state of their nation by blaming its problems on
(ominous violin chord) the evil commie empire of the Soviet Union?
Oooops. It’s the evil Russian empire of capitalist agents
made to replace the usual knee-jerk title of individual evil responsible for
everything that has ever gone wrong in life from Hitler to Putin.
And Trump is involved up to his feminist
hair-color-from-a-bottle eyeballs, especially once it was shown that the
Clinton campaign had paid more than 100K – the same shocking figure paid by the
evil russkies! – to find dirt on Trump’s toilet habits or sex life or toilet
sex life or habits or whatever such moral teachers explore in their pursuit of
sewage to help achieve a more cherished democracy than the pristine one we already
have.
But wait.
We have not yet had revealed the toilet and sex habits of
the ex-spy and his daughter, nor what their condition is, nor what evidence
there is that Russians, Hillary Clinton, Marvel Comics or Oprah Winfrey had to
do with the attempt on their lives using fiendish poisons that came from Russia
or somewhere near Russia or the British poison factory located a few miles from
the site of the alleged crime or something. Confused? Ready to go to the polls?
Oops…too late.
On a more important note, this just in from cybercurrency
international
New “Buttcoin” To Replace Bitcoin, Revolutionize (Debt)
Sharing Economy
Wall Street, the Pentagon, the Israeli Lobby and Nathans of
Coney Island were rocked by news of the latest entry into the
cyber-money-sharing global marketplace.
Italian entrepreneur Italo Manishevitz announced the new “Buttcoin”,
a product of a more powerful Internet tool than the previous source behind
Bitcoin, called BlockChain.
“Our new “Blankcheck” will transform the financial,
political, economic and weapons markets as they have never been transformed
before. “ Buttcoin” will be backed by “Blankcheck” in the spirit of the sharing
economy. We will no longer be limited to sharing our tired old money with
McDonalds, Uber, Comcast, General Motors or Israel but now be able to buy,
sell, trade, borrow or extort funds without ever going to a bank or writing out
numbers on a check in advance. In fact, new “Blankcheck” will be just that show
of solidarity and kinship with fellow humans we desperately need at a time of
divisive shopping. Simply make purchases with “Buttcoin” and then send a “Blankcheck”
in payment that allows recipients to fill in any amount they wish and take it
to an old fashioned money laundering firm to collect as much as honor, integrity
and the borrowing capacity of the institution will allow.”
When asked how “Buttcoin” was reacting to the first day of
its introduction into the marketplace, with “Blankchecks” filled in totaling
more than 257 trillion dollars in the first hour, company vice president Murray
Provoloni said “See? It’s working!”
“White Supremacy” new favorite criticism of white lower
class by privileged people of all races, creeds, sexual preferences who see
less privileged “whites” a threat to their privilege.
“These working class, uneducated, powerless people are
responsible for the fact that America spends trillions on war, billions on pets,
hundreds of millions on junk food and guns, and makes it really difficult for
us to invest in the market, hire cheap foreign help to replace the more
expensive cheap help once supplied by Americans, and attend demonstrations
against all the things we hate but support by voting for politicians who insure
economic continuity.”
AI (artificial intelligence) in the employ of OI (organic
ignorance) assures free market democracy as genius robot from Ayn Rand School
of Economic Constipation calls rape a cost effective form of dating. “No
dinner, no movie, get right to the sex, reduces the cost of relations and even
with some medical expense possibly necessitated by resistance of the datee, the
market comes out ahead since health insurers will profit, too. More power to
market forces!”
New reality TV show highlighting trials and tribulations of
poor women trying to feed families living under bridges, highways and in tents,
and forced to shop at expensive ghetto chain stores with higher prices than
upscale food marts.
“Housewives of
America’s Shitholes” debuts tonight in massive simulcast on ABC, NBC, CBS,
Netscape, Facemat, Twitter Twat Tweet Twaddle and DisneyNews.
Stay Tuned?