New Cyber Currency: ButtCoin and BlankCheck

Wall Street, the Pentagon, the Israeli Lobby and Nathans of Coney Island were rocked by news of the latest entry into the cyber-money-sharing global marketplace.

Italian entrepreneur Italo Manishevitz announced the new “Buttcoin”, a product of a more powerful Internet tool than the previous source behind Bitcoin, called BlockChain. 

“Our new “Blankcheck” will transform the financial, political, economic and weapons markets as they have never been transformed before. 

“ Buttcoin” will be backed by “Blankcheck” in the spirit of the sharing economy. We will no longer be limited to sharing our tired old money with McDonalds, Uber, Comcast, General Motors or Israel but now be able to buy, sell, trade, borrow or extort funds without ever going to a bank or writing out numbers on a check in advance. In fact, new “Blankcheck” will be just that show of solidarity and kinship with fellow humans we desperately need at a time of divisive shopping.

 Simply make purchases with “Buttcoin” and then send a “Blankcheck” in payment that allows recipients to fill in any amount they wish and take it to an old fashioned money laundering firm to collect as much as honor, integrity and the borrowing capacity of the institution will allow.”

When asked how “Buttcoin” was reacting to the first day of its introduction into the marketplace, with “Blankchecks” filled in totaling more than 257 trillion dollars in the first hour, company vice president Murray Provoloni said;  “See? It’s working!”