Joe Biden Losing His Mind

You're a damn liar. I’m not sedentary. You want to check my shape, man, let’s do pushups together here, man. Let’s run. Let’s do whatever you want to do. Let’s take an IQ test. OK?” (Biden to an Iowa man at a campaign stop).

You're full of shit . . . Don't tell me that, pal, or I'm going to go outside with your ass . . . . Don't be such a horse's ass. (Biden to a Detroit worker). 

You’re a lying dogfaced pony soldier. (Biden to a New Hampshire university student).

He's saying it was President ______ my boss, it was his fault. (Biden forgetting the name of the president he served for eight years).

We cannot get reelected, we cannot win this reelection, excuse me, we can only re-elect Donald Trump. (Biden on the urgency of the 2020 election).

We choose science over fiction. We choose truth over facts.  (Biden on the importance of logic and reason.)

Why why why why why you’re getting nervous man. (Biden to CBS reporter Ed O'Keefe, who asked why he continued to attack Bernie Sanders after accepting an apology from him).

We cannot let this, we've never allowed any crisis from the civil war straight through to the pandemic of 17__, all the way around 16__, we have never, never let our democracy sakes second fiddle way, we can have both a democracy and elections, and at the same time correct the public health. (Biden trying and failing to reassure the public about the coronavirus crisis).

 Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids. (Biden offering an alternative to "racist" Donald Trump).
   
And Corn Pop was a bad dude and he ran a bunch of bad boys . . . And I said hey Ester off the board or I’ll come up and drag you off. . . . You may cut me, man, but I’m gonna wrap this chain around your head. (Biden to a black audience on how he heroically challenged a razor-wielding thug in his lifeguard days).

I got hairy legs, that turn blond in the sun, and the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down, so it was straight, and then watch the hair come back up again. They'd look at it. So I learned about roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap. And I've loved kids jumping on my lap. (Biden currying favor with the same black audience about his lifeguard life).

Think about it. We hold these truths to be self-evident: all men and women are created by the ko you know the you know the thing. (Biden trying to recite the most famous passage of the Declaration of Independence).
      
One hundred and fifty million people have been killed since 2007 when Bernie voted to exempt the gun manufacturers from liability. (Biden suggesting that nearly half the U.S. population has been killed by guns in the last 13 years).

It would put 720 million women back in the work force. (Biden suggesting that the equivalent of the female population of China is out of work in the U.S.).
     
If you agree with me go to Joe three oh three three oh and help me in the fight. (Biden trying and failing to identify his contact information during a campaign debate).

Make sure the television excuse me make sure you have the record player on at night. (Biden on how to overcome poverty).

. . . kinds of things that, that have to be done, um, you know, there's a uh, during WWII, uh, you know, Roosevelt came up with a thing, uh, that, uh, you know, that was totally different, WWII, he called it, he had the War Production Board. (Biden on how he would handle coronavirus)

I'm not going nuts. (Biden trying and failing to assuage doubts about his mental fitness for office.)