Fantastic New Legalienate App - "MindClear" - Instantly Decodes Democrats' Doublespeak!

DIANE FEINSTEIN

UNITED STATES SENATOR

One year ago, on March 11, 2020 the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 outbreak a global pandemic. Over the past year, I have received almost one million emails and letters from Californians like you about the effects the coronavirus has had on individuals, families, and businesses. On this anniversary, I wanted to send an update to my last letter.

 

This past week, I was pleased to join my colleagues in passing a $1.9 trillion COVID relief package to speed our recovery from the health and economic effects of the pandemic. This is the sixth relief bill Congress has passed over the last year. 

 

Nearly 530,000 Americans - including almost 55,000 Californians - have died from COVID-19. Many who have survived are facing months of lingering complications after they were infected. We are just beginning to understand the long-term effects of the disease, and I have supported efforts to ensure more research is conducted in the hope that we can prevent and treat these prolonged symptoms.

 

Further, the coronavirus has significantly damaged our economy and exacerbated health and economic inequities. At the height of the pandemic, more than 22 million Americans became unemployed through no fault of their own. Thousands of small businesses have been forced to permanently close. Schools across the country were forced to close; many remain closed. Workers of color experienced the highest rates of job loss while facing inequities in health care access, resulting in disproportionate rates of infection, hospitalizations, and deaths. Social injustices that existed long before the pandemic have been exacerbated by it. I will continue supporting programs that every American has a fair opportunity to thrive, especially as our economy recovers.

 

Throughout the pandemic, our frontline health workers have been selflessly supporting medical care at great personal risk and sacrifice. Other 'essential workers' - nursing home aides, grocery clerks, agricultural workers, educators, delivery personnel, and many others - have also put themselves at risk to provide necessary resources for the public. I offer my heart-felt thanks to these essential workers for their efforts and continue to work with Governor Gavin Newsom and local leaders to ensure they have access to COVID-19  vaccines and other much-needed resources, like personal protective equipment. 

 

While vaccinations and reopenings across the country are providing hope, we must continue to take measures to stop the virus, including wearing masks, staying away from large gatherings, and avoiding unnecessary travel. Everyone who can get a vaccine should get one. If we are careful, we can work together to safely recover from this pandemic and minimize the further loss of life.   

"I always appreciate hearing from Californians! Please continue to send me your thoughts and concerns."

Sincerely Yours, 

Dianne Feinstein,

United States Senator

 

Legalienate's revolutionary new "MindClear" app, developed in our forensic pathology labs researching the death of democracy, has proven itself invaluable in translating political propaganda into standard English. As a demonstration of its awesome powers, we offer the following decoding of California Senator Dianne Feinstein's latest voter update message (reprinted above):

Feinstein: “One year ago, on March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 outbreak a global pandemic."

 

Feinstein decoded: “Since then, while the rest of the developed world nationalized entire payrolls, the U.S. awarded stimulus funds totaling $3200 for the luckier individuals - $267 a month.”

 

Feinstein: “Over the past year, I have received almost one million emails and letters from Californians like you about the effects the coronavirus has had on individuals, families, and businesses.  On this anniversary, I wanted to send an update to my past letter.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “I’m inundated in emergency text-messages from the cabin urging the pilot do something about our crashing aircraft. Here’s a cockpit update explaining the benefits of having built the plane without radar.”

Feinstein: “This past week, I was pleased to join my colleagues in passing a $1.9 trillion COVID relief package to speed our recovery from the health and economic effects of the pandemic. This is the sixth relief bill Congress has passed over the last year.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “This is our sixth try to get emergency funding right. We know you don't want to be part of our experiment, but you've got no choice!”

 

Feinstein: "Nearly 530,000 Americans—including almost 55,000 Californians—have died from COVID-19.  Many who have survived are facing months of lingering complications after they were infected.  We are just beginning to understand the long-term effects of the disease, and I have supported efforts to ensure more research is conducted in the hope that we can prevent and treat these prolonged symptoms.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “In spite of repeated warnings, we were caught flat-footed by the virus, having long since cut frills and extras like pandemic response out of the public health budget. Your deaths, while tragic to you, are profitable to us. We may be able to help with long term symptoms, as long as we can make money off them. If not, no hard feelings.”

Feinstein: “Further, the coronavirus has significantly damaged our economy and exacerbated health and economic inequities.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “We’ve taken the opportunity to throw more of you to the ‘free market’ wolves, especially you people of color, who we can shaft without paying a political price.”

 

Feinstein: “At the height of the pandemic, more than 22 million Americans became unemployed through no fault of their own.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “We haven’t been able to successfully blame the unemployed for being out of a job the way we usually do, but we’re working on it.”

 

Feinstein: “Thousands of small businesses have been forced to permanently close.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “Unlike the rest of the developed world, which rescued its businesses, we let ours go under. I wish I knew someone in high places who could have prevented this, but I'm just a powerless U.S. Senator who regularly votes on how to spend public money.” 

 

Feinstein: “Schools across the country were forced to close; many remain closed.” 

 

Feinstein decoded: “A year on, and we still have no control over the situation.”

 

Feinstein: “Workers of color experienced the highest rates of job loss while facing inequities in health care access, resulting in disproportionate rates of infection, hospitalizations, and deaths.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “Black lives don’t and won’t matter to us. Next topic.”

 

Feinstein: “Social injustices that existed long before the pandemic have been exacerbated by it.” ---

 

Feinstein decoded: “We’ve been remiss in our duties for some time, but we don’t really care because injustice is your problem. ” 

 

Feinstein: “I will continue supporting programs that ensure every American has a fair opportunity to thrive, especially as our economy recovers.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “Tokenistic affirmative action is all you’re ever going to get, so affirm the system and you’ll get some action. But don’t expect much.”

 

Feinstein: “Throughout the pandemic, our frontline health workers have been selflessly supporting medical care at great personal risk and sacrifice.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “We’ve forced highly skilled doctors and nurses to work Covid wards in plastic bags; just think what we could do to you.”

 

Feinstein: “Other 'essential workers'—nursing home aides, grocery clerks, agricultural workers, educators, delivery personnel, and many others—have also put themselves at risk to provide necessary resources for the public.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “Because most workers have no choice but to work or starve, we can use them as guinea pigs while we stay in protected environments. Offering cheap praise is literally the least I can do, and I'm happy to do it."

 

 

Feinstein: “I offer my heart-felt thanks to these essential workers for their efforts and continue to work with Governor Gavin Newsom and local leaders to ensure they have access to COVID-19 vaccines and other much-need resources, like personal protective equipment.”

 

Feinstein decoded: “With more infectious and lethal virus strains multiplying, we’re way late and a dollar short on Covid response, but we hope you'll let us get away with it.”

Feinstein: “While vaccinations and reopenings across the country are providing hope, we must continue to take measures to stop the spread of the virus, including wearing masks, staying away from large gatherings, and avoiding unnecessary travel.  Everyone who can get a vaccine should get one.  If we are careful, we can work together to safely recover from this pandemic and minimize the further loss of life."

 

Feinstein decoded: “There’s no point in crying over the mountain of corpses we’ve created so far, and the burden is on you to prevent the stench from getting worse. We know we need to dangle hope to prevent you from disrupting our massive money-making operations, so here goes.”

Feinstein: “I always appreciate hearing from Californians! Please continue to send me your thoughts and concerns.”

 

Feinstein decoded:   “I need to know what you’re thinking so I can use it against you when I huddle with my wealthy donors and plan your future.”