Kardashian Announces Entry Into Democratic Primaries

Party leaders excited at celebrity entering competition. “Finally, we’ll have a candidate with a great ass to defeat an asshole of a candidate” said chief party pollster Witless Von Marchado Weiss, who predicted Hillary Clinton would win the election by a landslide but was unaware of the existence of an electoral vote, let alone an electorate.

Party coffers were enriched by several billion dollars in just a few minutes as go-fund-me campaigns began the moment the Kardashians  announced that Kim had easily won their family competition to become the most famous non-political personality to ever run for president.

“Ronald Reagan was a retired actor while Kim Kardashian is an entertainer woman of the moment, active online, regularly using and advising cosmetics and cosmetic surgery to America’s feminist population, and the offspring of immigrants, married to a person of color, admired by gays, Jews, Muslims, Communists, Nazis and millions of persons unashamed to identify as Democrats and Republicans. She can’t miss since she’s already got name, face and buttocks recognition among Americans of all walks, runs, trots and crawls of life” said party sage Milhaus Mishuginah Osama. “We are entering a new phase of American history in which powerful rich and famous women with great asses will have more opportunities for achieving success than ever before.”

 President Trump indicated he might retire after one term rather than go up against an opponent so clearly more popular in both reality, surreality, fantasy, science fiction and cartoon TV. “ If I run, I might vote for her anyway. I mean the woman has a great ass and she’s even prettier than my wife, or my daughter.”