Saturday, March 28, 2015

Woman Initiates Gender Bias Suit Against Mafia

Gelcimina Carmela Rubinstein, long time adminstrative assistant to Mafia Don Carlo Vincenzi McBerger, is suing the crime cartel for gender bias. "They never allowed me to move up in the organization, always making coffee, ordering pizza and phoning funeral parlors. If women can advance on Wall Street, in venture capital and other criminal activities, why should we remain locked out of management positions in real, all american criminal endeavors like the Mafia?" Constitutional scholars, legal academics and other professional and student sheisters promised to watch this case closely.

Poland Charges Russian Air Traffic Controllers in Crash MARCH 27, 2015

The international community was shocked by latest Polish Joke.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Latest Poll Results Show What U.S. Electorate Really Wants

An exhaustive review of nationwide polls sampling public opinion about U.S. politics and presidential candidates reveals that in 2016 Americans want bigger government, smaller government, no government, and an outbreak of lethal disease that "only affects politicians." Their ideal candidate is a seasoned veteran with fresh ideas who sticks to principles and knows how to compromise; someone untainted by corruption with proven ability to succeed at massive campaign fundraising, so they can "stick it to": (1) right-wing nutcases (2) lib-tards (3) Nader traitors (4) terrorist appeasers (5) illegal immigrants (6) the liberal media (7) the conservative media (8) Jews (9) Nazis (10) Jews who act like Nazis (11) Nazis who fund-raise like Jews (12) Woody Allen and Bill Cosby.

Ideologically, Americans favor less Pentagon spending, "as long as it doesn't help the terrorists," more spending on education, "as long as it doesn't help unions," less draconian criminal penalties, "as long as it doesn't help child molesters," more environmental protection, "as long as it doesn't increase regulation," greater support for working mothers, "as long as it doesn't expand welfare," and universal medical insurance, "as long as big government isn't involved."

Thursday, March 19, 2015

New Two State Solution Proposed By Israel: New York & Florida

In a startling offer, Israel's newly elected regime said it would allow Palestinians to eat regularly if the USA would sign over New York and Florida as newly occupied territories. The Obama administration said it found the offer thoughtful and would put it before the Republikud party in congress, but the Demokatz party demanded that a replica of the Wailing Wall be permanetly set up at the nation's capital before it would support the proposal.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Europeans defy US to join China-led development bank

Monday March 16 2015 Breaking news France, Germany and Italy have all agreed to follow Britain’s lead and join a China-led international development bank, according to European officials, delivering a blow to US efforts to keep leading western countries out of the new institution. When the lap dogs begin deserting the end is near.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Poles Steel for Battle, Fearing Russia Will March on Them Next

MARCH 14, 2015 KALISZ, Poland — For evidence of how much President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia has jangled nerves and provoked anxiety across Eastern Europe, even worse is the panic expressed in the USA. Members of the New Jersey National Guard and the Oklahoma NRA Keep Okies White rifle club have begun training for eminent attack from Russia.Visits to mental health crisis centers are increasing all across the nation, especially among black people who claim that Putin is trying to make their lives worthless. As drug taking increases, both legal and illegal, with drugs supplied by pharmacists, both documented and undocumented, the national crisis has led to bi-partisan meetings between republicans, democrats and their therapists on what to do about the most frightening problem in the nation since the last shortage of pet food.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Adolf Hitler's Olympic Village of 1936:

Conservationists race to save relic of infamous 'Nazi Games' a fact usually, and conveniently , left out in the "infamous" depiction of this event: "Ironically, Owens’s tiny room – No 5, in block 39 – is so far the only athlete’s room that has been renovated. It’s a simple space that reflects the modesty of the humble man who stayed there – a man who, paradoxically, enjoyed more freedom in Nazi Germany at that time than he did in his segregated U.S. homeland." but...but...wait a minute...golly...gosh...jeepers...oh my god...or, omg... we were the land of the free, home of the brave, cradle of liberty, and they were the evil fascist genocidal nazi racist monster killer maniacs from hell ! the copy editor who let that one through may be looking for a job...