Tuesday, December 15, 2009

News from " The Garlic"

President Announces Invasion After Peace Speech

After giving one of his weekly stirring speeches on peace which bring tears to the eyes of admirers, detractors and those suffering Mental Antagonism Disorder(MAD) the president called for a massive military attack on the third world nation Oblivia.

“The Oblivians who are rising up to demand that the west repay them for past plundering of their people and other resources fail to understand the nature of Western domination. We are higher orders of humans, regardless of race, creed or mental status, while they represent a deadly threat to the well being of all Americans whose pets desperately need the animal foods our nation relies on and which come from the remains of Oblivia’s livestock and children. Especially during this cherished holiday season, we must do the smart thing and kill for peace.”

Many of the assembled press joined in tearful appreciation of the president’s rhetorical ability to cloud minds and morals with his soaring rhetoric. Spin doctors, political analysts, congress and day care workers united in support for this smart new war to save humanity from a stupid old culture.

Oblivians Delighted At Invasion By Multicultural Forces

The newly invaded people of Oblivia have expressed grateful satisfaction at being devastated by an attacking army of diverse persons. “My home was bombed by afro-asian-american bisexual jews and my daughter was raped by a latino-arab-american lesbian” said a smiling, if distraught, native of the third world nation which provides dog and cat food to the developed world. “Of course I am sad to lose my home and my family, but at least I can grieve knowing that they were murdered by a truly integrated, socially diverse force of invaders and killers. In a strange and confusing way, I am almost happy that I have suffered for the good of affirmative action in the developed world. Thank you so much for the drug injection you gave me before conducting this interview. Why is my skin making faces at me?”


Tiger Woods named Stud of the Millennium

After the entire female population of Concord, New Hampshire revealed that they had slept with Tiger Woods, raising the alleged total of woman he has had to upwards of fifty seven thousand, PlayWithYourSelf magazine nominated him for Stud Of the Millennium, with aging publisher Hugh Betcha offering Woods accommodation at the world famous PlayWithYourSelf mansion, constructed in the shape of male genitalia.

Woods would not answer calls from the press but his publicist said that while he appreciates all the tasteful attention given his alleged sexual escapades in a nation which sees 100 people killed on its highways every day , he would soon leave organized major sports and enter miniature golf competition out of respect for all the envious white men , angry black women and other unfortunate citizens living lives of such incredible emptiness that only sordid gossip about celebrities could hold their attention.

Attack on Department of Clichés Headquarters

A bloody attack on Cliché Central was claimed by the Clarity in Speech Liberation Front. Three media workers were shot dead while saying that a decade long study had proved that the envelope was being pushed towards transparency by sources which could not be revealed at the present time. A message released to major media and minor online gossip sites said:

“We will not tolerate any further evasions of language, distortions of speech or refusals to call a spade a spade for political reason. Death to the speakers of obfuscatory cliché ridden, uh, inarticulate empty repetitious talk that goes on and on, with interruptions of inarticulateness that, um, like, you know, mess up our minds and like, make it very difficult to , um, get a point across, which has been a problem for the one one hundredth of a decade during which this comment has been in the process of, um, getting across or trying to, like, make clear.”

The group was thought to be affiliated with the international terrorist communist islamic rosicrucian illuminati front and, um, was seen as the biggest threat to peace since the attacks of, uh, 911.

Obamanation Called Abomination by U.N. General Assembly

After the United Nations In-Security Council supported a U.S. - Israel resolution censuring Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador and the Little sisters of the Poor as supporters of International terrorism, child molesting and puppy dog and kitty cat beating, the General Assembly voted unanimously to move U.N. headquarters far from the abomination of the Obamanation. The new headquarters will be in a place more representative of the hopes and sentiments of the global majority: a cave on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.

Leading Banks To Pay TARP With CARP Funds

Major financial institutions which borrowed hundreds of billions of dollars of public money from the TARP fund (troubled asset relief program) have promised to pay their debts early, using money from the CARP fund ( criminal asset relief program). The president, congress and federal reserve thanked them for their early payment and agreed to loan them several trillion more dollars if CARP isn't enough to assure them another record profit making year.

Speaking for the average American taxpayers, former homeowners and unemployed workers, a minority of congress renounced their citizenship and escaped to the West Bank and Gaza, where they hoped to find higher morality if not peace or justice.


Hate Crimes Definition Expanded:
Six billion more Covered

Under pressure from groups which felt they were left out, hate crimes will be considered in cases of discrimination judged to be based on taunting or harassing because of height, weight, region of birth, membership in Crips, Bloods, Elks or Masons, style of dress, being clean shaved or bearded , being overweight, underweight, weightless, unstylish and unfashionable in attire or treated as stupid by people who think they are smart.

Liberal groups threatened to sue conservatives for Hate Crimes under the new definition because conservatives call them wimpy but Conservatives had already filed suit because liberals call them rednecks. That case may reach the Supreme Court after it is featured on the Daily Show, The Onion and the new online sensation from Legalienate, The Garlic. All these groups have been accused of hate crimes in the past or will be in the future, along with countless millions of individuals who will finally have the opportunity to get even with society for making them, uh, members of, uh, groups which are really, like, hated.

Stay Tuned

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hate Speech,... includes telling the truth.

Eric Hunt: Jew Liar and Con-Man.


Eric Hunt is suing Elie Wiesel and other Jews for lying, etc, about the HolyCo$t (holocaust). Elie Wiesel, for those who don't know, is a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize in the "Most Outrageous Liar," subcategory.

On October 28th, 2009, I added the following comment to (the Jew) Eric Hunt's website, erichunt.net;

The HolyCo$t (holocaust) is just one huge lie.

Elie Wiesel states in his book "Night," that when the Germans evacuated Auschwitz, he was given the option of staying at the Auschwitz hospital, with his father registered as a patient, to await the arrival of the Soviets, or to join the evacuation with the "mass-murdering" Nazis to Germany.

Guess what? Elie Wiesel chose to go to Germany with the "mass-murdering" Nazis.

Amazing,... eh? Elie Wiesel chose to accompany the "mass-murdering" Nazis on a long journey in the middle of a freezing winter, taking his father with him, rather than wait (with about 7,650 other sick or disabled Jews) for the Soviets to arrive. Wiesel's father died because of his choice. The actual quote is:

"The choice was in our hands. For once we could decide our fate for ourselves. We could both stay in the hospital, where I could, thanks to my doctor, get him (his father) entered as a patient or nurse. Or else we could follow the others. 'Well, what shall we do, father?' He was silent. 'Let's be evacuated with the others,' I told him."

Isn't it hilarious,... that the Jew Elie Wiesel (whose books repeatedly describe horrendous Nazi "mass-killings" of Jews at Auschwitz) should choose to go with the very same Nazis that had been "mass-killing" his fellow Jews, rather than wait for the Soviets.

It is fair to ask why the Nazis didn't bother to kill off the 7,650 witnesses to "genocide" they left behind when they evacuated Auschwitz.

7,650 witnesses to "genocide" just let go by the "mass-murdering" Nazis.

It is also fair to ask why the Nazis didn't bother to kill off the 60,000 witnesses to "genocide" that they transfered to camps in Germany.

Another 60,000 witnesses to "genocide" left alive by the "mass-murdering" Nazis.

It is also fair to ask why the Nazis needed the hospitals at Auschwitz and Monowitz, since they could just kill the Jews who got sick and were unable to work. Of course, killing all Jews who were sick and unable to work, is part of the Jew Auschwitz myth.

Imagine that, the "mass-murdering" Nazis tried to heal sick Jews. Surely they should have just killed them.

It is also fair to ask why Elie Wiesel never mentioned any gas-chambers in his memoir, "Night." In his version of the fiction, the Jews were burnt alive in huge pits.

Then there is the little problem that human bodies don't burn. And even then, there is the little problem regarding fires in pits. they tend to go out due to a lack of oxygen. And even then, there is the little problem regarding the level of the water-table at Auschwitz. Any pit more than 45 centimeters deep, would fill with water,...

but why let a few facts get in the way of a good story.

http://guardian.ifastnet.com/holocaust/why-believe.htm
http://guardian.ifastnet.com/holocaust/jew-math.htm
http://guardian.ifastnet.com/holocaust/jews-declare-war.htm
http://guardian.ifastnet.com/holocaust/auschwitz-data.htm

Anonymous said...

Continued;

On October 28th, 2009, Eric Hunt (or one of the Jews who run the site erichunt.net) answered this and other comments I had made. One of his replies was that I should seek litigation (with the Jew/Mason run courts) and let them sue to prove the correctness of my comments (yeah, right).

On October 29th, 2009, Eric Hunt (or one of the Jews who run the site) deleted all the comments I had made and published an article (erichunt.net/?p=386) which contained the following:

"Elie Wiesel claimed on the witness stand that his book 'Night' was 'entirely true.' Yet he also claimed that when I grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him five feet he 'never felt such fear.' If he 'never felt such fear' after being grabbed by the sleeve and asked for an interview, clearly this proves my point, that he never was marched feet away from a pit of fire (for adults) while a dump truck dropped babies into a pit of fire (for babies) next to him at the entrance to Auschwitz. One of his statements is clearly a disgusting lie. Either way, his sole intent with his lies was to ruin a young man's life. He must be put on trial for perjury."

So the Jew Eric Hunt deliberately ignores the fact that Wiesel choose to accompany the Nazis to Germany, rather than wait a few days for the Soviets, and deliberately ignores the fact that Wiesel must have lied when he later talks of gas chambers at Auschwitz (Birkenau) and instead rambles on about Wiesel lying about "feeling such fear."

So, Jews sue Jews in some weird game for public consumption. These are the weird games that Jews play. See how many other such Jew cons and lies you can spot in the world around you.

However, a real case against the Jew LIAR and HATE monger, Elie Wiesel, can be made from his statement in chapter 12, of his book "Legends of Our Time."

"Every Jew, somewhere in his being, should set apart a zone of hate -- healthy, virile hate--for what the German personifies and for what persists in the German. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of the dead."

The Jew LIAR and HATE monger, Elie Wiesel, must be arrested, tried, and jailed, for such outrageous HATE crimes.

New "hate" crime legislation in the U.S. should make suing Elie Wiesel, and other Jew liars, much easier.

Anonymous said...

"the president called for a massive military attack on the third world nation Oblivia,..." Of course we may have to pull another 9/11 to get the cannon-fodder ready to die for "their" country,... the president continued under his breath.

And speaking of 9/11.

This is one of the the most persuasive (2 min) 9/11 videos you will see.

http://guardian.ifastnet.com/video/wtc1-dets-1-marked.avi
http://houston.indymedia.org/uploads/2007/01/wtc1-dets-1-marked.avi (2nd Copy)
http://cleveland.indymedia.org/uploads/2007/01/wtc1-dets-1-marked.avi (3rd Copy)

This video has been on the internet since 2004,... have you ever seen it?

It clearly shows explosives detonating right down one corner of the North Tower.

YES EXPLOSIVES BOUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER.

That's why you NEVER see it on jewtube.

That's why you NEVER see it posted at any 9/11 "truth" sites.

That's why you NEVER see it posted at any other sites, period.

For many other High Quality Videos Clips of 9/11 you can find lists here:

http://guardian.ifastnet.com/wtc/videos.htm
http://guardian.ifastnet.com/video/videos.htm

You can tell how good this video clip is, as the Jews liars that comment here, never repeat it, never post it, never post its URL, never even comment on it (except to scare you with non-existent viruses).

Because the Jews sabotage links, just like they sabotage everything else, there is a mirror site at

http://guardian.150m.com

These .avi videos have been encoded with the DivX codec.

The easiest way to view them is to install the movie MPlayer, which will automatically play all the different types of movies.

The latest MPlayer for Microsoft can be found here:

http://downloads.sourceforge.net/smplayer/smplayer-0.6.8-win32.exe (and its free).

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