Friday, March 19, 2010

Israel Expands Settlements To Washington D.C.

In a bold move that shocked Wall Street, Main Street and J Street, Israel expanded its settler housing to Washington DC . President Obama and his family were ordered to vacate the White House so that it would be available to Israeli officials when they visit the occupied territories in the Senate and the House.

Speaker Pelosi expressed surprise when told that Netanyahu had asked for her congressional leadership position in another bold move that showed Israel practicing its political chutzpah as never before.

“ I thought he would ask for the presidency and am flattered and of course only too willing to accede to any demands made by our most important friends in the world, the Israelis ” said Pelosi.

The ADL accused her of practicing thinly veiled anti-Semitism by only mentioning the world instead of the universe.


Obama supports Wealth Care for all Americans

In soaring emotional rhetoric not heard since his last soaringly emotional speech, the president expressed soaring emotional support for all wealthy Americans and for the overwhelming 90% majority who are not yet wealthy but will be someday if our free markets and credit purchases can fully flower and bloom and blossom and, uh, whatever.

“This nation will thrive and survive as long as people are free to get wealthy and I intend to fight to the last breath to keep the freedoms we enjoy that allow wonderful hard working billionaires to get even more rich and then help the rest of us with tax deductible donations to charity.”

When asked about health care for all Americans the president said he supported it, but it would only be possible when more rich people were given tax breaks that enabled them to buy more private health insurance companies and then make tax deductible donations to charity.

Bankers Urge Freeing Madoff: Say Fed Needs His Help

A consortium of bankers, financiers, entrepreneurs and gourmet chefs joined in calling for the release of convicted fraudster Bernie Madoff. A spokesperson for the group said that only someone with his skill sets could lead the Fed and help the nation out of its most serious financial crisis.

“Let’s face it, our economy has been a massive Ponzi scheme for years now and the person who can best get investors to buy into this mess has to be the man who did it before with absolutely nothing but his mouth and an enigmatic smile. Now he’ll be able to peddle shares in our new Financial Utilization of Credit Kleptocracy Unions of Penury fund, a derivative collateral fandango perceptivity subtracting coercion swapperama market which, along with that Mona Lisa quality of his, will be impossible for egotistical and exceptionally dumb investors to resist . Nothing will more insure the survival of our leaking ship of state than to have captain Bernie at the helm.”

Reality Celebrities?

Producers of reality shows and celebrity gossip programs have joined forces to create an all new viewing consumer product. It will combine the most appealing candid moments of real life embarrassing drama lived by ordinary people who thereby become celebrities, and scandalously embarrassing moments in the lives of celebrities which may reduce them to lives as ordinary people.

The new show will feature celebrities during unguarded moments as they use their toilets, or have sex or beat their children. Then ordinary people will be shown having the same experiences affording viewers the double pleasure of watching people who are better looking , more talented and have far more money than they make complete asses of themselves while also enjoying their peers who have little money, looks or talent becoming celebrities by virtue of being portrayed using toilets, having sex and beating their children.

A spokesperson for Humping International Values productions , which owns the rights to the proposed show said “ We know our viewers love watching their slightly better looking peers making asses of themselves enough to make them stars and they also love gossip about the flaws of celebrities they love and also hate. This will afford them a double pleasure . We expect it to be bigger than American Idol. The twits twixt twelve and twenty market will love it and bring the older mob of wannabes along with them.”

The working title for the show is: U HV NO LIFE SO WTCH THS

stay tuned to The Garlic for all the really important news

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

To understand what happens in the world, you need to know that

Bush, Blair, Obama, Putin, Merkel, Sarkozy, Harper, Howard, Rudd and most other leaders are (covert) Jews.

See for yourself (PHOTOS):

http://www.webng.com/linuxhelp/jews/JewLeaders.htm

And while you are looking,... try this 2.2 MB mega-photo of Rabbis and politicians:

http://www.webng.com/linuxhelp/jews/images/small/index.html

Obama is a JEW. Bush is a JEW. Clinton is a Jew. Reagan most probably was a Jew,...

http://www.webng.com/linuxhelp/jews/TheJewObama.htm

In fact, probably every U.S. President has been a (covert) Jew,... even Abraham Lincoln;

"Brethren, the lamented Abraham Lincoln believed himself to be bone from our bone and flesh from our flesh. He supposed himself to be a descendant of Hebrew parentage. He said so in my presence. And, indeed, he preserved numerous features of the Hebrew race, both in countenance and character." Quote from Rabbi Isaac Wise, Lincoln eulogy delivered at Lodge Street Temple, Cincinnati, on April 19, 1865.

Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt were both descendants of the Dutch Jewish immigrant Claes Martensen van Rosenvelt.

Claes Martensen van Rosenvelt changed his name to Nicholas Roosevelt.

His wife, Jannetje Samuels, also used the names Jannetje Hamel and Jannetje Thomas (I guess Samuels just sounded too Jewish).

Claes Martensen van Rosenvelt m. Jannetje Samuels
.Nicholas Roosevelt m. Heyltje Jans Kunst
 .Johannes Roosevelt m. Heyltje Sjoerts
  .Jacobus Roosevelt m. Annetje Bogert
   .James Jacobus Roosevelt m. Maria van Schaak
    .Cornelis Roosevelt m. Margaret Barnhill
     .Theodore Roosevelt m. Martha Bullock
      .THEODORE ROOSEVELT, US President

Claes Martensen van Rosenvelt m. Jannetje Samuels
.Nicholas Roosevelt m. Heyltje Jans Kunst
 .Jacobus Roosevelt m. Catharina Hardenbroek
  .Isaac Roosevelt m. Cornelia Hoffman
   .James Roosevelt m. Maria Eliza Walton
    .Isaac Roosevelt m. Mary Rebecca Aspinwall
     .James Roosevelt m. Sara Delano
      .FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT, US President

The Delano's were Jews from France/Spain.

"In the distant past my ancestors may have been Jews. All I know about the origin of the Roosevelt family is that they are apparently descended form Claes Martenszen van Roosevelt, who came from Holland." Franklin Delano Roosevelt; The New York Times, March 14, 1935.

http://www.webng.com/linuxhelp/jews/bush-genealogy.htm

Sarkozy: "Sarkozy's mother was born to the Mallah family, one of the oldest Jewish families of Salonika, Greece."

http://ejpress.org/article/16491

Bill Clinton has these obviously Jew names; Moses BAUM; Simpson Green AYERS; Esther Elvira BAUM; Frances Ellen HINES among his grandparents, great-grandparents, etc. Given Clinton's claim that "If Iraq came across the Jordan River, I would grab a rifle and get in the trench and fight and die," (for Jews), etc, etc,.. I think we can safely conclude that Bill Clinton is a Jew.

It is usual for Jews to own every horse in an electoral race, i.e., every candidate is a (covert) Jew. Examples, are the 2000, 2004, 2008 American elections.

Anonymous said...

Even Germany and Austria have Jew Presidents/Prime Ministers:

It is hardly necessary to hide away ones Jew roots at all.

For example, the Austrian President didn't even bother to change his Jewish name, Heinz-Fischer:

Here is a photo of him wearing a Jew skullcap at the wailing wall in Jerusalem.

http://cleveland.indymedia.org/uploads/2008/12/austrianpresidentthejewheinzfischer.jpg

At least the German Prime Minister changed her Jewish name, Angela Kasner, to Angela Merkel (via a short marriage).

Kasner, Kastner, Kasztner, Kostiner, Costner, are well-known Jew names.

It is usual for Jews to own every horse in an electoral race, i.e., every candidate is a (covert) Jew.

Examples, are the 2000, 2004, 2008 American elections.

This quote from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Blair:

"Blair was born at the Queen Mary Maternity Home[1] in Edinburgh, Scotland on 6 May 1953,[2] the second son of Leo and Hazel Blair (nee Corscadden). Leo Blair, the illegitimate[3] son of two English actors, had been adopted by a Glasgow shipyard worker named James Blair and his wife Mary as a baby. Hazel Corscadden was the daughter of George Corscadden, a butcher and Orangeman who had moved to Glasgow in 1916 but returned to (and later died in) Ballyshannon in 1923, where his wife Sarah Margaret nee Lipsett gave birth to Blair's mother Hazel above her family's grocery shop.[4][5]

The Lipsett family in Donegal supposedly originated with a German Jewish immigrant to Ireland prior to the 18th century.[14]"

So wikipedia says that Tony Blair's maternal grandmother was a Jew. Hence, Blair's mother and Blair himself are Jews.

Think,... if the JEW run wikipedia says Tony Blair is a JEW, then Tony Blair is a JEW.

You can find out more about Tony Blair's family tree in the reference [14]: Patrick Hanks, editor. (2003). Dictionary of American Family Names.

In the following video the Jew Stephen Harper (Canadian Prime Minister) gives a speech where he claims to be the foremost champion of the Jewish people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Aw6-qZFfxk

Of course, he wears his Jew skullcap while delivering the speech.

"Do you really think a goyim can preside over a passover seder?
Because that is what Obama did in his personal White House quarters..."


Like I said, Obama is a Jew.

Well, it seems he is not ashamed of it,... putting it on the internet for all to see.

The Haggadah is written in both Hebrew and English. I wonder which language they are singing the passover hymns in.

Have a look: http://www.whitehouse.gov/assets/hi_res/seder_hi-res.jpg

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