"Dreams from My Meth Dealer" Reveals Tortured Path From "Hope" to "Obummer"
by Michael Smith
Marking a bold departure from conventional campaign tactics, Barack Obama has released a searingly honest memoir on the eve of his presidential re-election drive. The profoundly moving, frequently lyrical narrative relates the extraordinary story of a gifted African American overcoming seemingly insurmountable racial obstacles to reach the White House, where, in an act of sheer genius, he gives away trillions of dollars to oppressed Wall Street firms while demolishing half a dozen countries abroad in the course of picking up a Nobel Peace prize. Dramatic and fast-paced, the action leaves the reader not only breathless, but penniless.
In spite of this unprecedentedly spectacular record, the author is reluctantly forced to accept that he has disappointed many who believed in his calls for "hope" and "change" in 2008. With touching affection and unusual candor he reveals that much of the credit goes to his meth dealer Carlos "Corky" Rosales, whom he befriended at a fraternity house orgy when he was a student at Occidental College, and who, unbeknownst to the general public, has been a constant companion and adviser to the president for the past two-and-a-half years. It was "Corky" who revealed that all true Democrats are GOP lapdogs.
This inspiring insight soon consigned Karl Rove to the rank of political amateur. Thrilled by the fantastic surge in opium production under the Karzai government, Rosales quickly saw the need to expand the Afghanistan war into Pakistan. "You can't go wrong with a war for drugs," Rosales told Obama at his Inaugural Ball. "Profits soar, impoverished masses are doped and pacified, and annoying civil liberties are stripped away from a public hopelessly paralyzed by fear." Whether one is a liberal or a conservative, life doesn't get much better than that.
It was also Rosales who urged Obama to stage an "end" to the war in Iraq. "Public opinion can't hurt you if the public has no idea what is going on," Obama quotes Rosales as saying. "So declare peace and move on. The media will stop covering Iraq, and the war will cease to exist in the public mind, which means it really is over, except for the bloodshed."
Extending tax cuts for the rich while cutting Social Security and Medicare were also abiding "dreams" of Rosales, who seethed at the injustice of caring for the elderly while billionaires were left without the resources needed to become trillionaires. "What kind of society condemns its billionaires to lectures on civic duty, to an endless round of fair play and limits, to a life devoid of hope or meaning?" Thus spoke Rosales at the 2010 retreat of the National Association For the Advancement of Rich People. A man noted for his compassion, Obama wept.
A book to be both read and treasured, the chapter titles alone are worth the retail price ($599.95 from Predatory Books). For example:
Chapter One: The Virtue of Moral Collapse: Does a Castrated Man Really Need a Spine?
Chapter Two: Healthy Profits, Sick Patients: So What's the Problem?
Chapter Three: Affirmative Action For Dummies: Why a Black President Had to Lead the Rape of Libya
Chapter Four: Jewish Apartheid in the Promised Land: Dr. King's Dream Fulfilled
Chapter Five: Don't Worry, Be Happy: How Killing With Pilotless Drones Insures a Great Future
Chapter Six: Protecting Against Terrorism: Why I Need To Assassinate Americans For Their Own Good