Thursday, September 8, 2011

Friends of the Girth

The new support group for obesity liberation formed by retired wrestlers, unemployed chefs and junk food addicts, announced a campaign to counter the present drive to end America’s alleged weight problems. The group’s founding statment says:

 “We believe it is absolutely necessary to maintain physical substance given the lack of any mental substance in this nation, and it is a patriotic duty for intellectually malnourished Americans to overeat as often as possible, to buy extra small garments that wear out quickly and keep our clothing industry profitable, and to sit and watch TV for hours and destroy our furniture to be replaced in our planned obsolescence economy.”

The president said he admired their patriotic fervor and hoped they would only overeat  foods with low fats and that their diets would result in high profits .

from the Legalienate news bureau...all the news that fits, we print.

No comments: