Thursday, July 16, 2015

Bulletin: Escaped Mexican Drug Lord Enters Primary

Chapo Guzman, the escaped Mexican drug lord, has entered the Republican primary . He is running on a platform of civil rights for thousands of Mexicans here who are illegal, and as representative of tens of thousands of anglo  stoners, potheads, coke fiends and heroin addicts who deserve representation but will never get it under a "gringo dominated puritan regime".

Guzman says he truly understands the plight of illegals, having broken every drug law in Mexico and the USA  thousands of times. " Companeros, brothers, sisters, junkies, support me and you will bring yourselves and this nation to a new high."

When asked why he entered the Republican and not the Democratic primary, Guzman said  since there were so many candidates ( 18 so far counting Guzman) who would split the vote  a true minority candidate like him would have a better chance to win. The Supreme Court will have to rule on whether he is eligible to be president of the USA but if they rule against him he threatens to marry his brother, adopt a blonde transexual american, buy a dog and a cat and claim  discrimination against a Mexican ex-con gay married couple pet family simply trying to live the American immigrant dream.

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