Thursday, November 5, 2015

What About The Trans Species Minority?




With all the current attention given to people who are born one sex but feel, think, act and wish to be known as another, an even smaller group of people have been forgotten. If they were ever known of in the first place.

The subject of Trans-Species people was brought to the attention of Middle America when a man who identifies as a raccoon and belongs to a group trying to get recognition from society complained about being denied the food service he needs at mid-western chic-a-taco-pizza-burger-chip-crab-fries facilities.

“I need to burrow for grubs as often as I eat regular food and these places provide no opportunity for people like me to follow my natural bodily instincts to answer my tran species needs” said a man who refused to give his name but claimed he and others in his group choose to be addressed as “coons”. When advised that could be called hate speech since it was once used as a derogatory term for people with more color than people with no color, he said “Things change and america and the world needs to be open to realize that there are many among us, not just us coons but folks like trans male donkeys who call themselves "assholes", trans female cats who like to be called "pussies" and trans female dogs who answer to "bitches" and many others among our community who have needs and desires and the right to be acknowledged and addressed by the names we choose.”

The anonymous man said he always knew he was different as a child, at first thinking he was a dog until his family bought a cat but even then he was not sure. “When I saw a raccoon in our garden and looked into its eyes I felt a bond and an understanding that has taken me on a path to find my true self in spending time in trees, raiding garbage cans and especially burrowing into the earth in search of delicious grubs. This is who I am and what I am and no psychiatrist, neurosurgeon, bank teller or UPS driver can change that.”

Officials at the anonymous town in the anonymous state were trying to measure popular consciousness, social morality, public need and market forces in coming to a decision in how to deal with these transpecies people either by catering to their needs or, as in the case of most powerless minorities without dollars , celebrity clout or emotionally appealing personal dramas, just telling them to drop fucking dead.

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