Legalienation News Bureau
A Nazi viciously shouting "Jews will not replace us" was buried alive today in his home by an Israeli army bulldozer. Sharif Fadi, a Palestinian Arab, had a long history of anti-Semitism, as evidenced by repeated efforts to interfere with Israeli home demolitions in areas slated for Jewish settlement construction in Arab East Jerusalem. Several years of prior counseling designed to wean him from his Jew hatred failed in the face of his obstinate belief that "redeeming" Arab land by stealing it and turning it over to Jewish fanatics was shameless abuse. "No one could shake him from this irrational belief," said his counselor Linda Khalidi.
A spokesman for the Israeli Army regretted Fadi's "mental problems," which he blamed for his death, stating that Fadi was "accidentally decapitated" when he dove in front of the bulldozer's advancing blade. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu banned family funeral arrangements on the basis that Fadi "is already buried."