Netanyahu Dubs Shrinks' Mental Health Crusade "Zyklon B of the Psyche," Guarantees Impartial Verdict
by Michael K. Smith
Legalienation News Bureau
Psychiatrists that survived the Jewish state's June bombing of a Free Israel flotilla attempting to bring elephant tranquilizers to Israeli leaders suffering severe hysteria will go on trial for genocide Israeli authorities announced today. The defendants have been released from immigration jail and transferred to rabbinical authorities, who will preside over their trial in Israel's Supremely Jewish Court, which became the most broad-minded tribunal in the world when it endorsed torture in the 1990s. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who has promised a similarly sensible verdict this time around, yesterday pronounced psychoanalysis "Zyklon B of the psyche" and called on Israeli security to protect "the only democracy in the Middle East" with hooded interrogations from the witness stand.
"That the pursuit of mental health is genocidal isn't even going to be debated, those days are long gone," said Netanyahu. "These HAMAS-infected shrinks refuse to recognize our psychic borders and continue adhering to their genocidal charter, which calls for Jewish neurosis to be pushed into the sea. This is a blatant attempt to continue Auschwitz by other means," he added.
Few people are prepared to quibble with claims so firmly grounded in common sense. Psychiatrists seek to subordinate the instinctual passions of the id to the ego's rationality, an extremist stance that obviously cannot be reconciled with Israel's right to exist from the Tigris to the Euphrates, as called for by the Holy Bible, a popular Bronze Age real estate guide. Thus, the psychoanalytic effort to privilege rationality over instinct can only be realistically understood as an attack on God and His Children, which is genocide, deicide, and Judeocide all at once.
Alan Dearth-o-Wits, author of "Shrinking Israel - The Treason of Nazi Psychiatry," predicts that the current case will overturn much conventional wisdom in demonstrating that the roots of psychiatry lie in the Iran-Hizbollah-Hamas axis. According to him, psychoanalysis was not, in fact, invented by Sigmund Freud, but rather by Shedrick Fard, an Iranian extremist eager to move physical terrorism into the psychological realm. His seminal work, "Jew Hear Me?" has led to horrifying psychoanalytic atrocities, including giving aid and comfort to rationality, abetting thought, and weakening suicidal resolve, all in the name of establishing a "balanced, well-integrated personality," to use the Hitlerian phraseology of the psychiatric profession.
"Balanced, well-integrated personality is just a euphemism for Jew-hater," says Danny Har'el, the Free Israel psychiatrists' court-appointed attorney, who also directs the prestigious human rights organization, Crush The Arabs. "Anti-Semitism is the health of the goy. If Israeli leaders determine that Jewish peace requires killing, maiming, and destroying," he asks, "what has 'mental health' got to do with anything?"
Indeed. In any event, the prosecution's pre-trial motion to have video interviews of the defendants presented with spliced-in images of gun-toting HAMAS militants cheering wildly in the background has been approved by trial judge Eliazar Allon, who ruled that "full context" is indispensable to the rendering of a fair verdict. Dressing the psychiatrists in Nazi uniforms will also be allowed, so that the historical ramifications of the case can be properly understood.
However, a jury trial will not be permitted, as Israeli Arabs are believed to be extremely biased in favor of mental health, one of many deficiencies of Arab culture that Israeli experts say makes it impossible for them to render a just verdict.
Rigorous protection of individual rights will be practiced throughout the trial. The burden of proof rests with the accused, who will be required to establish that they love Israel more than their own mothers, or be sentenced to life in front of a firing squad. Torture is acceptable, but only when "really necessary" and always within the rigid constraints of "absolute justice." A guilty verdict will be considered final, but an acquittal may be appealed as many times as justice requires.
(For earlier commentary on the plight of psychiatrists in Israel, see Legalienate posts for June 8, June 15, and June 17)
-----Michael K. Smith is the author of "The Madness of King George" and "Portraits of Empire," with Common Courage Press.