Researchers Catalog A "Jew-Zillion" Killed in the Camps
by Michael K. Smith
Legalienation News Bureau
Researchers from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum have concluded that the fabled six million statistic from World War II refers not to Jews exterminated by the Nazi regime, but to the number of individual death camps run by Hitler. This has forced researchers to revise the Jewish death count upwards to a "Jew-Zillion," a quantity that The Institute of Objective Zionist Science claims is a six followed by 40,000 zeros.
The total is far higher than most historians had previously estimated, according to The New York Times, which the Newspaper of Record says indicates that historians are even more infallible than they were before.
Geoffrey McGargle and Dean Martin, the lead editors of the project, have compiled the millions of sites in a 325,000 volume encyclopedia that will be housed in an airplane hangar in post-regime-change Tehran. Each volume catalogs billions of Nazi crimes, providing a comprehensive history of the "industrial assembly-line of extermination spontaneously erected by methodical madmen working without plan or bureaucratic oversight but with stupendously evil improvisational skill."
The Holocaust Museum team also created maps of the sites, which were apparently so densely concentrated in Europe that they crowded out every other German institution, sparking a protest from the Fuhrer himself when his favorite Viennese bakery was bulldozed.
The study clearly shows that all previous WWII research has been dedicated to Nazi appeasement, and that the true dimensions of the Holocaust may not be known for generations, after astronaut-historians have been able to research the Jewish death toll in Nazi-controlled galaxies beyond the Milky Way. Helmut Erhard, director of the Jerusalem-based German Institute of Perpetual Alarm, says the latest research is "astounding," and subsequent studies sure to be "even more so." "We thought we knew before how horrible life in the camps and ghettos was," he said, "but the truth is our previous depictions look like a Club Med vacation compared to what we're finding out now."
The researchers' work may help Holocaust lawyers attempting to sue.
"How many attorney's fees have been subjected to delayed payment because of the inability to document the existence of 6 million death camps?" said Sam Grubbin, a lawyer representing attorneys. "Now we don't have to worry about that anymore."
Over the years, many scholars have worked to uncover the real numbers of victims of the Holocaust, and some have insisted the death toll is higher than what an anti-Semitic preoccupation with mathematical rigor will allow. They say that objectivity requires that the official number of Jews killed spiral in tandem with increases in Jewish settlements in Palestine.
This latest research is yet another piece of evidence that can be used to refute the viciously racist fringe movement that continues to deny what others assert, and that inexplicably objects to using the Holocaust to facilitate Israeli crimes against humanity.
"The Holocaust Just Got More Shocking," March 1, 2013, New York Times