All 11,000,000 of the alleged illegal immigrants in the USA have filed papers - bilingual - with the Dept. of Injustice claiming that they are members of the Rockefeller family and a historic part of everything that has made America great - oil wells, unscrupulous business deals, foreign wars, hiring cheap foreign help , unemployed but still fabulously wealthy people, foundations that give money to causes assuring that unemployed but still fabulously wealthy people remain so, etc - thus making them great patriots rather than illegal aliens.
Spokesperson Luis Garcia Montalbo Rosenberg said the group had hidden its true identity at great cost for many years, barely evading detection by authorities, secret police, the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, local police depts, the Klan, Neo-Nazis and most difficult to evade of all, Middle School Junior G-Man Groups. "You think it's easy to not be detected? You try to anonymously get a motel room for 11 million some time and see how far you'll get. It's been hell, the hiding, the seeking, just awful. And all the time we all knew our real identities were as Rockefellers, that we were really old and not new Americans, that we were really rich and not poor Americans, but we had to remain quiet and lay low."
"Why? Because of our accents, schmuck. Now that it's fashionable to sound like an immigrant, our inner identity which has been smothered for so long can finally breathe free air. How do we get to Rockefeller Center? We'd like to visit some of our family real estate holdings.