Friday, May 6, 2016

Supreme Court To Rule On Trans-Species Case

The legal, political, sports, facebook and toilet use communities are anxiously awaiting the historic decision of a future Supreme Court in the matter regarding a man who claims to be a dog and demands the right to urinate on hydrants and defecate in the street as guaranteed by the constitution. Many legal scholars and most representatives of the animal food industry are supporting his case, which has attracted the attention of the trans-sexual, trans-political and trans-economic communities.

The man, a former presidential candidate of the Identitarian Party named Hortensio Meyer Rocco Weintraub Jackson McGoldfarb, answers to the nickname of ms pc-pers and has been the subject of much controversy in the past, assuming several identity transformations which have confused medical, psychological, pharmaceutical and therapeutic authorities even while increasing their incomes.

The Legalienate staff had a recent opportunity to interview his wife.

Legalienate: how long has your husband seen himself as actually being a dog as opposed to a human?

It began a short time after his recovery from slavery, or at least his profound awakening to his inner slave, which was a powerful though terrible experience since he would not relate to any white people at all, even me, his wife, until I got him to face that I was jewish and so had never really shared in the white privilege which he came to hate so much after realizing he was actually an African descended from slaves. Well, his great-grandfather had been European and his grandmother was an apache, but he vividly recollected the slave experience regardless of those genetic nuances, which, according to his unique generic and now species fluidity really didn’t amount to much.

Prior to that I knew he was more than special when he’d experienced reincarnation as a holocaust victim which was even more difficult since he despised all gentiles and feared they would exterminate us pursuant to their eons or decades old plan. Luckily that only lasted a few weeks while his slave experience took months to work itself out, but this latest species transformation has been the longest lasting and of even deeper meaning, to both of us.

Legalienate: what affect has this had on your daily life?

Well, he has periods in which he acts like a human male but they are getting shorter and his canine behavior is becoming far more prevalent and seemingly ordinary. Like, he really can’t use the toilet any more and I have to take him out to do it in the street, which is natural to him because he is, after all, a dog who just happens to be in a man’s body. And he likes to be on a leash so he can pull on it just to force me in another direction, in a very typical dog way.

Legalienate: Have complaints about that street behavior led to this becoming a possibly historic case going all the way to the Supreme Court?

Yes, even though most people don’t usually see us going out at night, there have been enough sightings and complaints to cause legal problems with charges of indecent exposure, defecation and urination in public and other nuisance things that have forced us to retain legal representation and demand our rights as humans responding to forces greater than our own which compel certain behaviors over which we, or at least he, have no control.

Legalienate: What about other aspects of personal married life, like, if we may ask, intimacies?

These are interesting questions. As you might imagine, doing it doggy style was a novelty before but I have to admit it can become boring when it seems to be the only way, but our love has not changed due to any physical differences brought about by my husband’s special transformation. We love each other just as we used to and still sleep with our beloved dog, but we act out that love in a fashion we never dreamed of doing with our dog. Or at least I never dreamed of, since our dog is female. I am not gay and have no desire to have sex with my female dog; it’s only with my male husband who is a dog in his heart and soul but still is very much a human male in body. Though at times he seems to express interest in sniffing her private parts I’m happy to say most of his interest is in sniffing mine.

Legalienate: But what about the family question. Any thoughts or future desires there?

Luckily my husband was altered before he found his inner dog so pregnancy is not a problem, but we might someday consider a family in which case the surrogate market will be there for us. In the meantime, our pleasures are experienced in a slightly different way but our love remains as strong as it ever was.

Legalienate: How so?

Well, to be honest, if I touch his penis now he snaps, sometimes barks and a couple of times he’s bitten me but not enough to hurt but merely to keep me away. That’s a change from past behavior, I can tell you, and the doggy style I referred to earlier can become something less than spontaneous when it’s really all that’s possible. I mean a missionary position with a dog, even if in a man’s body, is quite unnatural for the dog in the mans body, if you follow. But our adjustments, as I said, are all in keeping with our love, which transcends just as my husband’s species has seemed to take another form. Prior to this we Americans have had intimate relations with our dogs even to them becoming members of our family, but this takes the human-dog kinship to levels never before dreamed of, at least not by most humans .We may well be facing a much larger issue than climate change when we consider the future ramifications of species change, don’t you think?

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