Monday, August 3, 2020

Bulletin: Biden Chooses Marge Simpson as Running Mate

Biden Chooses Marge Simpson for Vice President


The Biden campaign has decided to support Marge Simpson for vice president to give the ticket more balance. “She’s more representative of American women than the professional class feminists who are most influential in our great democracy” said Biden’s marketing and sales advisor from the polling firm running the  campaign from a mobile satellite rotating far above the American people, in keeping with class divisions called for in our  constitution.



The campaign's mental health crisis center staff advised Biden to make the choice after white working class men had organized protests over dumb TV images of cartoon characters like Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin, calling them hate crimes of disrespect. “These portrayals of white, fat, dumb, beer drinking oafs are hate crimes committed to all white working class people and we will no longer tolerate this hateful denial of our humanity” shouted spokes shouter Joe Six-Pack as his mob of several hundred over-weight pot-bellied white workers chanted “we demand respect.”


"Until and unless we hear different from the Over-Weight Black Working Class Women’s coalition, we think Marge Simpson will be accepted by all voters. If she doesn’t do well in the polls, we are thinking of Oprah Winfrey or Beyonce, who, we are told, are actual people and not cartoon characters" said major party advisor, strategist , technician, and person who goes for coffee, Guadalupe Tecumsah Liebowitz, who chairs the party's Disabled Transexual Latino Jewish Caucus.



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