Genocide in Libya, um, no Iran, er, no Syria!
Armed insurrection in Syria has met with government violence
against the insurrectionists, in contrast to western civilization and its
servant international community where insurrectionists are always invited to
lunch to discuss their problems with authority, provided they do not kill the diplomats who agree to talk to
them.
After charges of mass rape were made by Syrians who
miraculously escaped being raped by hiding behind cell phones, charges of
genocide have come from others who avoided being genocided by miraculously
hiding behind kindles.
U.S. feminists at the State Department expressed foaming at
the mouth outrage at the bloodletting and sex crimes and genocide, with the
Secretary herself calling for nuclear attacks on all Iranians, um, Syrians, if
they do not stop threatening Israel, um, the U.S.
Santorum Wins in Pennsiltuckazona: Romney Buys More Pomade
The leading haircut in the Republican primary suffered
defeat as a guy who gets his hair cut at barber school won caucuses, prayer
meetings and pot lucks in several communities on the outskirts of media
central.
Santorum has electrified voters with his radical views, such
as referring to wars, earthquakes and tsunamis as job creators.
“Somebody has to do the killing and cleaning up the mess and rebuilding, my friends, and if
you love this great country as much as I do, which is more than the other guys
do, you have to agree with me.”
Romney responded in outrage that “nobody loves this great
country more than I do” but his voice could barely be heard when Gingrich
screamed at the top of his lungs “I love this great country more than anyone in
the universe and they don’t know what love is.”
Several supporters of all the candidates were overcome with
emotion at the display of love for this great country. “Who cares about the
economy, foreign policy, taxes, corporate wealth or the 1%? All we need is
love.”
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