Fighting Wars By The Rules

 Let's All Kill Each Other According To The Rules

    I don't understand the Geneva Convention and the whole idea of having rules for fighting a war.  Why?  Is it really more than just a way of reassuring ourselves we're all quite civilized, as we pour our hearts and minds and fortunes into mass killing?  It seems to me like hypocritical bullshit.  If the object is to win, wars should be fought with no holds barred; otherwise, why bother suiting up?  As it is now, a winner is declared, and yet the issue has not been settled by all possible means.

    Additionally, if the object is to kill the enemy, why treat their wounded?  Treating their wounded requires resources taken from your own effort to achieve victory.  Does this make sense if you're trying to win?  Oh, yeah. Civilized.

    My doubts about having rules for combat likewise extend to street fighting.  I've heard guys whine about someone throwing a "sucker punch."  Are they kidding?  A guy wants to reduce your ass to a small bloody pile, and you're going to warn him before hitting him?  Get fucking lucid!  And lose all that dopey shit about fair play.  It's out of place if the object is to win.  (Is it?)

    Also, as far as kicking someone when he's down is concerned, what is the problem here?  Again, the object is to win, yes?  Well if he gets up, you might lose; therefore he must not get up.  He needs to be kicked.  You said you wanted to win.  Or are you people just fucking around?  I suspect that might be the case.  Well, stop fucking around and make up your mind.  You're telling me a man will fuck another man's wife, drive him out of his business, cut him off and nearly kill him in traffic, but he shouldn't sneak punch, or kick him when he's down?  I don't get it.

    Another thing I don't understand is the objection to the so-called dirty play in sports such as football.  These are big, tough guys who are desperate to prove how manly they are; that they're not soft.  That's why they play these games in the first place.  Well, why not let them play "dirty" and let's find out how tough they really are?

    It's been shown that small, dedicated groups of men can easily find ways of policing and disciplining those among them who cross the line.  It's called vigilantism, and it's very efficient.  Please don't tell a bunch of six-foot six, three hundred-pounders in helmets and pads they can't spear and punch and put their thumbs into each other's eyes.

    You'll miss all the fun.  And you'll be keeping them from pursuing their calling at its highest level.

    I also don't understand terrorists who call the police to warn them about a bomb.  Do I even need to explain my dismay at this one?

    You know, folks, if this old world had any imagination, wars would be fought without codes and conventions, alley fighting would be standard, and the only rules in sports would govern the uniforms.  Then we'd have some real fun.

    But I fear that doesn't suit you, and so I return to the notion that produced these thoughts in the first place:  You people shouldn't be fighting at all.

-----George Carlin, Braindroppings, pps. 179-80