Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Mafia Don Enters Presidential Race, Calls Obama a Wimp

“I would’a got Osama in a week. It took this Ivy League punk three years? Gimme a break.”

Giacamo Mangicazzi, Mafia leader of the east and west coast families of Cosa Nostra Umbriagon inc. and foremost Hollywood consultant on all crime romanticizing and violence glorifying movies, announced his entry into the presidential race with charges against both his major opponents.

“The other guys a moron or whatever they call that church. I don’t care if he’s rich, I got more money then both a them put together and I never went college but I support my catholic and jewish people who support me by helping our organization with bookkeeping, accounting, legal advice and getting rid of the garbage, if you get my drift. My campaign will get rid of this country’s garbage, if you know what I mean. Know what I mean?”

At this point Mr Mangicazzi’s press secretary Gulio Matzachristi Goldfarb, ordered reporters out of the room since it was time for his employer’s daily consultation with Secret Service agents seeking the services of the entertainment department of La Cosa Nostra Strunzi e Merde.